


Love Drunk

by roadrunnner63



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Flashbacks, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Sad times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:14:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23625214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roadrunnner63/pseuds/roadrunnner63
Summary: ‘Blissful’ was the word Jaehyun would use to describe their relationship. Even after it’s conclusion, that was the only thing Jaehyun could remember feeling while being together with Doyoung. He could spend every moment of his life in that ethereal numbness, forever drunk in love.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Kudos: 21





	Love Drunk

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based off one of my favourite songs of all time 'Love Drunk' by Epik High ft. Crush, or 술이 달다 in Korean which basically means alcohol is sweet because everything in your life is bitter compared to it. Highly recommend the song. Anyway, tried to write angst and this is what I came up with. It's a bit short but hope you enjoy.

Reminiscing had never been Jaehyun’s thing. Things happened in their own time, everything would come and go, nothing that was so necessary that it was needed to be kept in the mind to replay when needed. And so the same came with regret. No benefit came with regret, so there was no need to feel that way. 

_ When is the moment that you stop feeling in love? _

It had been a question in Jaehyun’s mind after his first few relationships, all ending somewhat amicably and with a false promise of future contact. When was the final kiss, the final touch, the final ‘I love you’ before it stopped being true? When was the beginning of the end?

That was always in the back of his mind coming into his relationship with Doyoung, the wide-eyed, gummy-smiled next-door-neighbour in his apartment complex that he had met more than a few times in the bar for it to be a coincidence.

Falling in love wasn’t that hard. In fact, it was too easy with Doyoung. ‘I love you’ wasn’t supposed to be said after the 2nd sort-of-failed date where Jaehyun accidentally fell into a pond and Doyoung laughed so hard that he fell to the ground and it just happened to slip out of Jaehyun’s mouth while helping Doyoung stand up from his laughter coma. That’s not how these sorts of things work. They didn’t even kiss until the 4th date. That was when Jaehyun knew he was in love.

_ How do you know if you found ‘the one’? _

Doyoung was perfect in his eyes. Everything from his eyes, to his lips to his laugh were all so extraordinarily beautiful. There were many hours that Jaehyun spent looking at Doyoung’s face, memorising every inch so the image in his head became so much more clear. There was no moment where he didn’t think of Doyoung. This feeling was bizarre to him, so new that he thought that he could never move on. Doyoung was his soulmate.

Everything happened so naturally between them. From the first kiss to the first time he stayed over the night. Nothing ever was rushed, but it all happened so quickly in Jaehyun’s mind. A constant blur of happiness is what he told Doyoung. 

\---

“You are my soulmate, you know that?” Jaehyun asks one morning when they are lying on their bed and Doyoung is lazily drawing circles on Jaehyun’s abdomen.

“I thought you didn’t believe in that” Doyoung giggles out, moving so he was up on one arm next to Jaehyun.

“Well, I didn’t until I met you.” Jaehyun says in all seriousness, staring into Doyoung’s eyes.

“How cheesy.” Doyoung snorts and comes closer to him to start peppering kisses along Jaehyun’s collarbone.

“You didn’t answer my question” Jaehyun whines out.

“You already know my answer,” Doyoung says, “But if I’m your soulmate, then why do you keep staring at me? Aren’t you already supposed to know my face by now?”

“It’s because every time I look at you, you make me feel like I’m seeing you for the first time all over again. I never want to forget you”

\---

But in the end, the image that he had crafted so intricately in his imagination made it so much harder to erase Doyoung from his mind. 

_ How do you fall out of love? _

Jaehyun was waiting for the moment where he felt that he just didn’t feel the spark anymore, when he knew he should start making excuses to stop seeing the latter for a while and it would eventually break off like that. But somehow, that moment felt beyond their time living, so far in the future that Jaehyun stopped waiting. Doyoung probably knew when the moment was before Jaehyun had even processed that it was possible between them. 

That was his mistake; being careless and ignoring the cracks until they became too large to fix. 

\---

“I think we should stop seeing each other for a while,” Doyoung says. It was just after a fight about Doyoung taking a job in another city. “It might be good for us, we can clear our minds and sort things out.”

That wasn’t how it was supposed to go. In all of Jaehyun’s past relationships, that was his line. He was supposed to break things off.

“Doyoung I-”

“Please don’t argue with me on this one Jaehyun. I really just want some space.”

“Okay.” Jaehyun concedes. In his mind, there was still a chance to redo things. Fix it. That was probably what all his exes thought as well. “I- I’ll wait for you. I still love you, do you know that?”

“I know” Doyoung says with a smile that seems a tad too strained to be believable, and in a voice that sounded exhausted and miserable.

\---

  
  


_ How do you move on? _

Alcohol slipped down his throat so easily, disinfecting his bleeding heart. His heartbreak was so bitter that the alcohol tasted sweet. His legs trembled as he tried to stand from his spinning haze. Even in his hallucinations, he could see Doyoung again, in his arms, where he should be.

In all his efforts to forget, he slowly lost himself. 

His time was now spent lying on his bed, half drunk half sober, replaying their ending scene in his head.

\---

“I guess this is goodbye,” Jaehyun says, halfway out of the door.

Doyoung stays silent. 

And in a sudden split-second of regret, Jaehyun’s heart refused to move on and he enveloped Doyoung in a hug.

“Can we stay like this for a while. Please” he says in a voice of desperation and yearning.

Again, Doyoung is silent, but Jaehyun could feel his arms around his waist, grasping tightly. Doyoung’s head is on Jaehyun’s neck, and Jaehyun can feel his shirt dampening and choked breathing from beside him. 

In that final moment, he could hold Doyoung in his arms, but somehow he felt so intangible. Something so far away, struggling to hold on, but losing it’s grip so it finally lets go.

The last time he looks at Doyoung, he sees red rimmed eyes, dishevelled hair and swollen lips that give out a bitter laugh. Still, Jaehyun thinks he is beautiful at that moment. Nothing would ever change that.

\---

‘Blissful’ was the word Jaehyun would use to describe their relationship. Even after it’s conclusion, that was the only thing Jaehyun could remember feeling while being together with Doyoung. He could spend every moment of his life in that ethereal numbness, forever drunk in love.

**Author's Note:**

> I might write a sequel to this. I dunno, it was super sad writing this.
> 
> Kudos and comments are very much appreciated :)


End file.
